Guess what? there is still that painful pang whenever i look at his photo.. and damn, it's already 2 months after i met him only for less than  2 weeks. hello, wake up call to me, what the heall am i doing with such a stranger? i dun even know that he has a gf after maybe 2 weeks of pinning such hopes on him.. damn, i seriousy need a good whack. I will also need someone like maybe edward cullen.. who likes me so badly.. anyone?

Time gets tough at home.. my mom has a serious clash with my youngest brother cos he refused to buy a lamp in his supposedly ex best friend.. yup2.. my mum reminded him to buy the lamp for two days in numerous occasions.. he did not answer my mum n he did not even try to ask her to do it herself cos he did not want to meet the ex best friend.. and guess what it leads too… my mum does not want to speak to him and he believes that he is not guilty of anything.. hh, horrid, horrid tense atmosphere we have here at home.. Oh ya, he will start his so called national examination (some kind of ‘o’level) in two days.. and I assure you that I look more worried when I am facing my mid semester exam than he is now, facing the so called national exam that can make you or break you. Seriously, if you do not pass the exam n you pass the school exam, you must go for another exam by yourself that is held 4-6 months after the results were out.. and you cannot go to school anymore cos basically you have passed the school test, you have graduated but sadly you are not eligible in national education point of view to continue to higher grade. Yup, that’s why we got cases in Indonesia like a principal trying to steal the national examination papers for his students. Tck.. they go that extra mileage for you, really (haha, sounds like an advertisement.. was it shell ad? Hmm..) but it’s not a laughing matter.. last year, there was a serious case about this smart boy who won physics Olympiad, he got invitations to go into certain famous public universities and some said that he got a scholarship from abroad. N guess what? He did not pass his national exam. He humiliatingly took another package of national exam that usually are taken by not so bright students. Hmm.. yup, it really can break you or make you. Can he keep the scholarship? Well, dun ask. I am glad that I finished my mid semester examination.. hh, hope that I can get all as.. but the problem is, I dun know whether I can pass that bahasa exam. Man, it was hard. Even harder than the English one. So there was this one section where we should correct the sentences to effective sentences. I have the tendency to nip/tuck the sentences so much, that they are not in the basic form that were given in the questions. Yup, n stupidly I tried so hard that I think I correct the already effective sentences. Oh damn.. but yeah, what’s over is over.. time to move on.. oh great.. haven’t tried to do my bio lab reports.. must do two reports.. but heck, I haven’t even finished writing the readings for the first report.. feel super lazy to do it.. hmm hmm… Okay.. I have spent almost 5 days at home.. updating myself with juicy gossips.. do you know that arashi got the first rank on their single? Entitled ‘sweet love’ I think.. man… they look super cute.. I like nino now.. n do you know that jun has different facial expressions when he looked into different faces? Hmm.. like when he looked at ayumi hamasaki, well, I might say that he was super interested.. and when he look at jyungri, he looked as if he adored her.. but when a duo came up, they are newbies in the jap music industry, with very little make up n all, well, he just played around with nino, who sat beside him.. and it was all caught on tape cos arashi sat just behind the mc.. oh ya, I cant fail to notice that they look slimmer than usual.. hmm, but they are so arashilicious that way.. nyumm.. Oh ya , some quirky thing I just got from music station.. it is some kind of craze in japan to release funny cds. Do you know that one cd, 4ominutes or so cd containing 12,000 complete sentences of “oni-chan” funny huh? N in japan, the cd has sold about 10,000 cds.. wow.. n another cd, contain the sound you can pick in narita airport.. haha.. funny yeah? Hmm, will go back to bogor tomorrow.. hope I will have a safe journey.. take care everyone..

hahahahahaha... just come back from the cathedral, nope, not the one in jakarta but the one in bogor.. hehehe... n i just got my sin confession sacrament.. hmm, or is it penitention sacrament in english? anyway, it was my first penitention rite in, um, 6 years? hehe, naughty naughty me..

so, all in all the one thing about the confession i can blab here is the one year i never went to church cos i was so upset about the church, this feeling was triggered after i finished reading the da vince code. the feminist in me was waken up.. who the hell this peter who dared to get the so called throne of christianity from mary magdalene, the supposedly jesus' wife according to the story.. man, then do you know what the priest so wisely said first to me? "have you ever known any organisation that still exists after about 20 centuries?" n the one org i could think about of course catholic organisation.. he gave me the simple analogy that when 2 people looking into the same picture with different perspective n knowledge, they will see it differently. that's what dan brown did, he also put aside the 'truth' instilled by the church in order to get the money from the story that sells.. the priest said something about modern capitalism that set aside the truth in order to gain some profit out of the lies that being written.. he also gave me the "matureness" of catholic empire in facing different problems like the one when some other religion attacked catholic cos the pope said one sentence that he quoted from an ancient writer about their saviour.. haha, then he gave me the example about how childish others was when their saviour's carricature was shown in denmark, and they went crazy over that.. hey, he is a saviour, he can save n defend himslef. why should you? hahahahahaha.. feel that my choice is right...

well, maybe this note does not make sense to yuou, must keep in mind that me n my church has felt lots of hostility and that's why i am proud that the church is still strong and mature... love the stubborn love that He give to us all!!!

i dun fond that guy again cos he sat near the girl i dun like.. am i still that childish? i got the highest mark for bahasa quiz, and i din learn the language in school for 5 years now.. hurrah... is my feeling that shallow? hhh....

yup yup yup.. these days, i always look at this cute guy from my extended lecture class... just knew that he exists in my class after sem 1 (whoops, what kind of friend..tck ;p) at that time, he asked me what my gpa score is.. well, after that chat, i just realized that there is this cute guy, lurking in the corner of the class, waiting to be found.. (haha, what kind of language i am using here?) then, then, my friends also agree that he is cute.. and i just knew his name like 2 weeks ago..

after that i always see him everywhere... i will just say hi to him, and with very twinkly eyes he will smile to me.. haha. then, then, yesterday, i got the chance of my life time.. haha, kiddin.. well, in bogor, it is a norm to bring umbrella cos every afternoon it will rain.. so, he was just in front of the landscape faculty, and me n my other 3 friends were there too.. he asked me to share my umbrella to go across the so called "open space" in between landscape n agriculture faculty.. in some way it was unromantic (in my mind, dating in bogor is very romantic cos you can share umbrella with your boyfriend amidst the drizzle.. just both of you, staring to a misty view, having thoughts of how beautiful the world can be if u can contiue to be that close to him... haha, such a lovely thought) ok, back to reality, he is shorter than me and i am the one holding the umbrella for both of us.. haha, i wonder will there be a guy tall enough and love me enough to hold the umbrella for me someday?

yup yup.. and as usual i always blab that he is cute and so on to my closest and not so close friends in class.. haha, and deris, one of my pals in class was there just beside me when he asked whether he can share the umbrella, and guess what she did, she slowly walked back discreetly and gave me that mischievous smile that says "enjoy the ride yess, i bet you have already waited long for this opportunity to arrive.." haha.... damn, and after that she teased me like crazy, but i couldnt help to stop the grin developing on my face.. gosh, did i dream something the night before? but i thank God for that opportunity.. not that i really like him, hello he is 2 years younger, or maybe 3 years younger than me.. but he is really, really super cute.. his eyes.. man, have you ever seen the twinkly eyes in comic book, where maybe the character look at something he likes and his eyes suddenly twinkle, with lots of stars coming out of his eyes? yup, maybe if he look at you, that kind of look he will give you.. cute ya? and please note this, he gives this look to everybody, so not that like i am special to him or anything...

enough about him ya? oh ya,later, i will follow his class for economy tutorial.. hehehehehehe...

hmm2..  these days i am super busy, preparing for two lb sessions in 2 consecutive days.. and after that i must write a report for one of the lab classes.. hmm, n i am preparing myself to get into the red cross unit in IPB. hehe.. i haven't gone home for three weeks cos i had the initiation briefings and all every weekends.. hehe... but i have lots of friends there and i mut admit that i enjoy being in red cross now.. but i am not so sure about my reaction when i see the real life event, maybe on an accident, when i have the necessary skill to give the first aid, but i dun have the gut to do so cos i am afraid of everything gory like blood, body distorting from the usual position.. or maybe i just cant stand the pressure to do everything so quickly cos every second counts. i hope i can be a very good red cross cadet and my skill will be useful someday.. will love to help people. since i am not entering medicine faculty, the least i must know is how to give first aid before handing the case over to doctor or paramedics.. haha, feel the noble intention here? :p

my birthday is in 10 days time!!!! hurray,...